My Truths: Yammerings of a newly 24 year old

Disclaimer: This is not a J.K. Rowling post. I have no idea how it ends writing it now. It may make no sense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This is basically just a list of some random thoughts.

I believe you can accept and love yourself and still want to change parts of yourself.
I believe the ability to adapt is crucial to finding happiness.
I believe that differences are necessary for society.
I believe that artists and musicians do more for the greater mental health of our stress ball of a society than we give them credit and resources to do.
I believe we can all benefit from giving more people the benefit of doubt.
I believe that vulnerability is critical to human connection.
I believe that there are times to push and times to rest in life and that finding the perfect balance may be impossible but we shouldn’t stop trying.
I believe that sickness can be a big, important part of your life and still not define you.

k thanks i’m here all week



Feeding Tube Awareness

February 4-8th was Feeding Tube Awareness Week. This post will be mostly about types of feeding tubes and feeding as well as some possible reasons why someone might use a feeding tube as I have found few people actually know much about tubes. Ideally, I will also be creating posts about tips and tricks for living with a feeding tube and my experience as a young adult who uses a feeding tube. *lol I tried to get it done on the actual week*

Types of Feeding Tubes

Nasal Tubes

The two main types of nasal (up the nose) tubes are nasogastric (NG) and nasojejunal (NJ) tubes. These are thin, flexible tubes that are inserted through the nose. Both tubes are primarily for temporary and trial use and can often look similar from the outside. The main difference between these two tubes is where they go inside the body. These tubes can be left for 2-6 weeks per tube.

NG tubes are tubes that are inserted through the nose, go down your throat, and end in your stomach. These tubes are common inpatient and outpatient for acute needs or for temporary trialing of tube feeds, however, some patients chose to use NG tubes long term as (with training) they can be inserted and removed at home and therefore can only be on their face while feeding (usually at night in those cases)

NJ tubes are tubes that are inserted through the nose, go down your throat, through your stomach and the first part of your small intestine and into your jejunum. These tubes are less common and need to be inserted by a doctor with imaging to guide the tube into the right place. Many patients have NJ tubes if they have significant vomiting, have an improperly functioning stomach, or cannot tolerate feeding into their stomachs.

Surgical Tubes

There are three main types of surgically (or endoscopically) placed feeding tubes: gastrostomy (G tube), jejunostomy (J/ “straight J” tube), and a gastrojejunostomy (GJ tube). While these are considered more permanent tubes, they can be removed if the tube is no longer needed. These tubes are placed by creating a stoma, or opening that allows the tube to connect to the stomach or intestine, essentially it is an extreme body piercing.

Low profile G tube on left, traditional g tube on right

Within these options there are also some differentiations based on the type of tubing and the securement device. Options vary from traditional tube (aka danglers) to low-profile tubes that sit more flush with the skin. Tubes can also vary in how they are held in place on the inside: balloon (filled with water), a hard bumper, or a capsule shaped bumper. Most tubes need to be changed out every couple of months but some can be changed out at home by the user!

That girl has a feeding tube but just ate some cookies! They must not need the tube!

There are many different reasons why someone may need a feeding tube. Some people are able to eat and drink and still needing a feeding tube. This can happen either because they have a very restricted or unreliable diet/food tolerance or because they cannot eat or drink enough to sustain themselves purely on oral intake. Some people can eat, but it makes them very sick and so they only eat on special occasions, however there are plenty of people with feeding tubes who cannot eat or drink at all (NPO). Whether someone can or can’t eat orally does not correlate to how much they need a feeding tube or how sick they are!

What are some reasons someone needs a feeding tube?

There are countless diagnoses that may require a feeding tube such as dysphagia, cancer, gastroparesis, mast cell disorder, IBD, spinal cord injury, muscular dystrophy, ALS, MS, and many many more! Generally, people who need feeding tubes either: have difficulty swallowing, difficulty digesting/absorbing their food, have risk for aspiration (breathing food into lungs), cannot chew, have multiple food allergies, or have a gastrointestinal disorder that impairs their digestive tract.

It’s that time again! (EDS Awareness Month)

Hello lovelies, in case you didn’t know because you live under a rock and you like it down there, May is Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes (EDS) Awareness Month! Now you know. My hope is to make several (possibilities range from 1-30) posts about various aspects of how EDS effects my life and things that I experience that I might not always talk about or might not always be visible (whooooooo!). But since this is the first post I am going to do a brief re-overview of what EDS is (to see last year’s post for more detail click here). I am not going to touch much on the new classifications/criteria mostly because I don’t quite understand it myself (sorry guys). Links will be throughout for more enticing information!!

What is Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes?

       Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes (EDS) is a group of inherited connective tissue disorders that effect your body’s ability to produce strong collagen. Collagen is essentially the glue that holds your body together and is the most abundant protein in the body. With EDS, your collagen is weak or faulty. There are different types of collagen and each type forms certain types of tissue, bone, organ, muscle, and joint. The different types of EDS are due to mutations on different types of collagen (mostly joints vs mostly vasculature etc). That being said, if you have Vascular EDS you can still have hypermobility issues, it can get very complicated. EDS is a systemic disorder that is much more than just being bendy! Most types of EDS are rare, but hEDS/hypermobility EDS/type 3 is NOT rare and current estimates place its prevalence at around 1 in every 250. That being said, EDS is rarely diagnosed and rarely understood even in many medical circles. Every case of EDS is different, even when in families which can make it hard to diagnose. As my cardiologist says, “if you can’t connect the issues, think connective tissues”!

How is your life with EDS different than your “typical” peers?

        Probably the major ones would be coping with chronic severe pain, having less energy, and having the schedule of an 80 year old (hospital visits, PT, OT, medications galore, pharmacy trips, naps). When I try and explain it to others some go with the “remember that time you got a bad case of the stomach flu, how you felt? yeah it is like that but we spoonies don’t get better” but I don’t really like that. It does a pretty good job on the comprehension level but it further separates us and points out our differences rather than our similarities. I, too, procrastinate on my schoolwork with Netflix. I, too, laugh at memes. I, too, want to graduate from college and have a job. I am not saying we have to ignore our differences but it can be hard enough to fit in when many of your peer groups activities are out of reach for you (sometimes literally haha). I also don’t talk a lot about my pain with others because I don’t want pity. My illnesses are a part of me but they do not define me.

If they discovered a cure tomorrow would you take it?

      This one is hard to explain but probably not. EDS sucks but it is as much a part of me as having red hair is or speaking a bunch of languages. It has shaped me and my direction and made me tough as nails. That being said, if someone came to me with a viable pain medication we might have a different conversation.
I really do hope to post more later…stay tuned!

Care about Rare

February 28th is Rare Disease Day.

Now, if you’re like me you might roll your eyes at this one. In a time with social media, ice-bucket challenges, awareness months for every condition known to man, ribbons, and GoFundMe pages, awareness of something is almost always going on. Let us all admit we are burnt out on breast cancer awareness. Don’t get me wrong, breast cancer sucks but the funding and publicity are not correlated with its prevalence, deadliness, or need for awareness. Additionally, caring burnout is occurring due to politics, wars, tragedies, disasters, and maybe even the loss of your beloved pet rock “Rocky Balboa”. Whatever is going on in your life, I hear you, your frustrations and hurt are valid.

Now let me tell you about why Rare Disease Day is important.

First off, lets get our knowledge on because who knows anything about this stuff, let’s be honest. According to the Global Genes Project:

Orphan drugs are drugs specifically for treating rare diseases.
In 1983, the US passed the Orphan Drug Act which allocates grant
funding to companies researching and developing orphan drugs.

 

  • in the US, a rare disease is any condition that affects less than 200,000 people (under 50,000 in the UK)
  • 80% of all rare disease patients are affected by approximately 350 diseases
  • 50% of people with rare diseases are children
  • 35% percent of deaths in the first year of life are attributed to rare diseases
  • 30% of children with rare diseases will not live to see their 5th birthday
  • ~50% of rare diseases do not have a specific foundation supporting or researching their rare diseases
  • Only 5% of rare diseases have ANY FDA approved treatment options
Okay, now we have the numbers, so what?
Before I get to the give away your money or talk about it phase, I want to try and tell you what it is like to live in the rare world. It is scary, it is hard, it is time and energy consuming, and often times… seemingly hopeless. This will not be sugarcoated, so skip ahead to the next meme for a jolly good time.
It is going to specialists only to have them say, “that’s just how it is” or “I’m sorry, there is nothing we can do”. It is knowing more about (or even about) your condition than many in the medical fields. It is, unfortunately, getting misdiagnosed, mistreated, or misinformed. It is having your second opinion being google… because there is no one else and you aren’t sure if what the doctor is saying is true or correct or even sane. It is constantly having to be your own advocate, nurse, management team, awareness spokesperson, and cheerleader.  It is weighing being misunderstood or mistreated over getting urgent medical care. It is putting on a smile when all you feel like doing is crying. It is that moment of panic when you have a bad day that you will need help and can’t be all alone. It is being surrounded by people who love and care about you, yet feeling alone. It is making plans with your other rare friend to have a movie marathon but spending the whole time talking about and decompressing about your illness, doctor’s visits, anxieties, and fears. It is carrying a backpack instead of a purse because you need your medications, testing supplies, and toiletries so your mouth doesn’t taste like vomit the rest of your adventure. It is envying people who can say, “oh, I have ____” and not have people say “what?”. It is knowing that if you wound up in the ER and couldn’t communicate and people didn’t have your information… normal treatments could kill you. It is having pre-programmed phrases to spit out to explain your conditions, witty comebacks to counter arrogance, and feeling the need to justify yourself so people understand. It is getting told you could fix your diseases if you prayed harder. Or drank only kale. Or by righting your sins. All from random strangers. Above all, it is isolation and uncertainty.
So what can you do?
  • Spread awareness on social media, not just today…any day
  • Talk about rare diseases
  • Donate to rare disease research
  • Donate to companies working on orphan drugs
  • And last, but certainly not least, know that you are never alone: with our without a rare disease!
Click on picture to learn more or donate!