An Open Letter to my Caregivers and Friends

Dear lovely humans,
    There are a couple things I want to tell you, remind you, or just share with you. First off, thanks. I know I’m not always easy to be around, or to care for, or to love. Now you may try to make the point that no one is an you would probably be right. It is hard for me to accept help and cope with not being able to do the things I used to or should be able to do at my fruitful age of 20. Its hard to watch my peers doing things that seem so out of reach. Its hard to live in a society that values productivity when your accomplishment of the day is getting out of bed.
     So thank you. Thank you for coming up with ways to make me feel useful even when I can’t get out of bed. Thank you staying home with me and watching a movie even though it seems like thats all we every do. Thank you for spending hours researching my conditions just so you can understand my world. Thank you for respecting when I want to be alone. Or when I cancel plans for the 1,000th time. Or when I go into a communication dead-zone. Thank you for sitting with me in the middle of a public place when I get a dizzy spell so I don’t look stupid. Thank you for standing up, and speaking up for me when I couldn’t. Thank you for spending countless hours in doctors offices, ERs, and hospitals. Thank you for being patient.
      Apologies are also called for. I’m sorry for lashing out when I’ve had a bad day. I’m sorry for being unpredictable. I’m sorry for the days when the illness takes over. I’m sorry I can’t be your partner in crime for hikes or horror movies anymore. I’m sorry for the middle of the night panics, the scary calls from EMS saying they’re taking me to the hospital but can’t tell you why. I’m sorry for causing you pain when bad things happen. I’m sorry sometimes I live in my own world.
      Thank you for helping me get through the deep valleys of depression and isolation. Thank you for being there to help me celebrate my accomplishments and joys. I am constantly amazed by the unconditional love and support you guys show me (except you mom, that’s in your job description).

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